Thursday, September 27, 2007

The emotional part has kicked in....

Saturday day afternoon JW and I were discussing our journey up to this point and I said, "A lot of people talk about how emotional going through IVF is but I feel like it has been about the same intensity as some of our IUI cycles."

Then I started using the Vivelle Dot--which should really be called the Vivelle Freaking Huge Rectangle but I guess that didn't look good on the package--and now the emotions have set in. Work has been really busy this week and it is difficult to run around this huge school when I can barely walk thanks to the progesterone shots. I'm have been so so sore. Tuesday night I almost started crying when JW gave me my shot because I just kept thinking "I can't do this anymore. I can't do this for weeks and weeks if we get pregnant. I can't."
Also, can we talk about how much weight I've gained? I've gained almost 10lbs since the beginning of this cycle....and all 10 lbs are in two places 1) My stomach.... Almost none of my pants fit....the jean capris that used to be loose are super tight. 2) My face.
I have a really sweet friend who I'm very close with and she said, "Is the medicine your on causing you to gain weight?" "Yes" my yoga pants clad self replies. "I thought your cheeks looked a little chubby." I love my friend and she loves me and she didn't mean it meanly at all....and I'm glad I have a friend who will tell me the truth. But goodness! At this rate I'll be in maternity clothes before week 6! Or maybe before my beta!!

But even through this IVF emtional roller coaster, the Lord has been so good. He's provided good friends to keep us focused on Him. And the icing on the cake: Last Friday, my sister and her husband got matched with a first mom at their adoption agency. The weekend was filled with hills, valleys and several loop-to-loops but they brought home my amazing and beautiful niece, Ava on Monday!!! She is perfect in everyway and we are already totally in love with her. We went over on Monday night to meet her and ever since I've been counting the minutes until I can get back over to their house and hold that sweet baby. I'm so excited to be an aunt. I'm so excited for my sister and her husband!! They have been through a lot and now their parents!!

Infertility is a trial and I know many of you out there are on this same road, so here is a little verse that I read last night from the 1st chapter of James:
12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

I know the Lord will help us persevere through all these hormonal ups and downs and through whatever comes next.....


Blogger Diana said...

Just a note about the progesterone shots. For me they got alot easier. At the beginning I also thought wow, this will be a very long 12 weeks if I actually get pregnant. My but hurt and itched like crazy. Well here I am at 7 weeks and my butt only hurts when you press on the lumps and it hasn't itched in 2 weeks. I don't know if you get used to it or what, but trust me, you CAN and WILL do it for the 12 weeks when you get your BFP!

Congrats to your sister and hubby!! I wondered what the story was. So glad you filled us in. What a blessing to your whole family!

4:05 PM  
Blogger andrea_jennine said...

Hang in there. The IVF weight gain is awful, huh? But either it will turn into pregnancy weight (hooray!) or it will disappear pretty quickly once you stop taking all the hormones.

And congrats to your sister!

7:52 AM  
Blogger Will they have his eyes? said...

I am going to print out that verse and hang it on my fridge. Thank you for posting it.

1:34 PM  

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