Friday, May 09, 2008

First Freak Out moment...

Disclaimer: Chris, if you tell mom any of this I'll kill you. :)

So, Thursday morning I woke up and noticed some blood in the toilet and on the toilet paper. I freaked out because it was bright red. I had my first internal on Monday afternoon and Dr. D mentioned that I might have some spotting but if it turned into period like flow or if I was still bleeding on Wednesday to call her.

No bleeding Monday. No bleeding Tuesday. No bleeding Wednesday. Bright red blood Thursday morning.

Well, I decided that I probably needed to call and thought they'd probably want me to come in. At 35 1/2 weeks pregnant I have this fear that I'm going to go to a doctor's appointment and they are going to make me stay and have the baby so of course I had to shower and eat breakfast before I could go to the doctor. This was fine since they don't open until 8:30am and I woke up at 6:45am.

I go about my business getting ready. I'm overanalyzing every like ache, pain and twinge in my body. I keep checking for more blood. (There isn't any.) And then I start thinking about the fact that JW has two hearings that day and that I have three job interviews next week. I'm wondering how it sounds when you call to reschedule an interview because you had a baby.

As I'm eating breakfast I start to freak out about the fact that I don't really have anything mom bought me pjs for the hospital but I haven't even washed them....what if I have to describe to someone where everything is like our camera and video camera.....and my parents will come stay with us if I have the baby and I have no food in the fridge, no snacks in the pantry and no diet cokes for my mom and dad.

And of all of these stupid worries are piling up on top of the big worry about why am I bleeding and is the baby okay???

I finally got to talk to someone about 8:30am and she said that it was nothing probably just spotting from the internal. She wasn't concerned because it had stopped. Call back if it starts up again.

So, now I'm feeling dumb. 1) Because I totally was freaking out and 2) because the nurse made me feel like an idiot with her tone of voice and what not. I went to work and had to just pull the car over in a parking lot and let it all out. I just sat there and cried for a good 5 minutes or so. I'm not a big crier but it was a great way to relieve the stress of freaking out over bleeding, the frustration of feeling like an idiot thanks to the nurse and just let out all the other stress about finding a job, having a baby, moving, etc etc etc.


Blogger Sara said...

The same thing happened to me yesterday! And I got the same tone of voice from my nurse when I called. You'd think they'd be better at that since they should be used to dealing with the worries and obsessions of soon to be first time moms!

Good luck, and don't feel stupid. You are not alone!

6:40 AM  
Blogger Mark, Christine, Ava & Cuatro Danuser said...

Ok, I'm glad you "disclaimered" me b/c I totally freaked out when I read that and probably would've called mom! Oh, that must've been so scary for you!! I'm glad everything is ok with you and Peanut though. You're under so much stress right now -- it's understandable that you'd have a breakdown post-encounter with bitchy nurse. Grrr.

Calling you soon...xo

12:10 PM  

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