Tuesday, May 08, 2007

In the good times and bad....

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us" ~E. M. Forster

I read a lot of infertility and adoption blogs. A lot of them. It is an addictive habit and one I need to break.....but that is besides the point. When I read this quote earlier this morning I thought of all those women out there dealing with infertility or waiting to build their families through adoption.
I think this quotes relates to the discussions JW and I have had lately about how far are we willing to go with infertility treatments. Also it makes me think about although I have planned all my life to be a mother that I can't get so caught up in chasing a baby that I miss out on this beautiful, crazy life God has planned for me. Honestly I sometimes feel that at this point in my walk with the Lord that I should realize planning is pointless. My plans mean nothing. I am totally subject to His plan and although I might not totally understand His plan....I do trust that it is better than my own.
Sometimes I read about infertile women being hurt when people say something about "God's plan." I don't really get that though because I do think it is God's plan for JW and I to deal with infertility. I don't understand it and at times it is very painful but I also know there has been good. We have been refined. I feel like we have been tested in "Is God really enough for us? Are our dreams, hopes, desires rubish compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ?" We have learned how to trust the Lord in good times and in bad. It is easy to praise His name when good things happen but we want to be like Job and praise Him in the bad times as well. We have learned so much about each other as we find the strength to endure heartbreak and hope again. We have also learned about suffering. We have seen our faith community stand by us and pray with us for a family whatever that may look like.
I do know that God's ultimate plan is to bring glory to His name. I can see how He has been and will be glorified in this struggle. It isn't easy but the Lord never promised an easy road for His children.....He just promised one that ends in heaven.



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