Saturday, June 23, 2007

I'm borderline obsessed...

I think infertility might becoming an obsession for me. I catch myself thinking about it all the time....calculating days on a cycle, figuring out when I need to go to appointments, figuring out when I'd be due if it works this month and when I'd have to tell work and how much of the school year I might miss, etc. And a lot of times I'm just thinking about it in general terms.

But the real sign that I'm becoming obsessed is the blogs I read. I used to read blogs of people I know in "real" life...friends from college and high school and friends who have moved overseas. But now I find myself skimming their blogs and really reading the blogs of women I don't know who are dealing with infertility. I actually sit down at the computer and think about how I haven't read stirrup-queens today or I haven't checked alittlepregnant.com in a while and I wonder if she's updated. (Those are just 2 of many IF blogs read regularly.) It is almost as if I'm not interested in these people that I have real relationships with and am more interested in my computer friends.

Although sometimes I think the real issue might be that a lot of my friends who blog have kids and their blogs are mainly about their kids. I love their children but sometimes it sucks to see their cute faces and read posts about how awesome it is to be a mom. Or maybe I'm just annoyed with certain posts.....like the post today from one of my oldest friends (meaning we've been friends since we were 14....not that she is the oldest in age) about "all of the pain related to giving her son life." I'm not dumb. I've been around LOTS of pregnant girls. I understand that pregnancy can be uncomfortable, that delivery isn't a walk in the park and that your body is all crazy for a while. However, I'm not sure if I needed to know the 14 most awful things that have happened to her since she got pregnant. I clearly remember the most awful day of her pregnancy for me.....it was when she called me last August to tell me that she was pregnant. I remember thinking at the time that I was just about to start clomid and how maybe we'd be pregnant at the same time and have babies close in age. I also remember telling her congratulations and that I was so excited for them.....and I remember her explaining how they were going to be excited too once the shock of this "surprise" pregnancy wore off.

Okay, maybe I'm borderline bitter as well.

2 Comments:

Blogger Rachel said...

if this is the case, I am obsessed as well! :-0

I skim the blogs of my real life friends, for the same reasons, babies and pregnancy. But you girls are the ones who know the pain I feel day after day.

5:40 AM  
Blogger Diana said...

I guess I am lucky, I don't have any real life friends that blog so all of my blog attention goes to all of you! I am so very happy to read other peoples stories and experiences with IF, it makes me feel a little less alone with it all. When I got my news yesterday about having good follies for my IUI, my first thoughts were about writing it on my blog to share with my blogosphere friends. I guess it's because I know you all will understand. Call me crazy!

7:27 PM  

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