Monday, June 01, 2009

I'm THAT girl....

I'm that girl. I'm your cousin's friend's co-worker. I'm your mom's neighbor's friend's daughter. I'm pregnant. I'm the girl who tried for two years, did IVF, had a baby and then got pregnant on their own unexpectedly.

I'm so excited about this pregnancy. I nearly screamed with joy at seeing my first ever positive pregnancy test. I'm overwhelmed at the idea of having two under two but I'm excited about this new little one. I also feel like I've totally betrayed the infertile community. I feel like a jerk.

I think 9 out of 10 people I've told about this pregnancy have made a comment like, "I hear that happens all the time" or "I know so many people that has happened for." One person even said, "I guess when you relax and your mind isn't on it, then it can just happen."
Please know that I have corrected ALL of these people (and I had to really resist the urge to punch the person who mentioned relaxing).

But I have become that girl. One of the stories that people will tell to try to encourage someone struggling with infertility. A story that won't encourage anyone in the midst of shots, procedures and home pregnancy tests. I apologize in advance to anyone who ever hears this story and wants to throw things or hit people because of it. (I've been there. I know.)

Friends, I think this is the last dance for dancing with infertility. It seems time to dim the lights, turn the music off and rest awhile.
I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this....but if you are, please know that this girl is still hoping and praying that each and every one of us out there in the infertile blogsphere is called Mommy someday.
It is hard to explain the encouragement and love I have felt from so many of you that I only know through your blogs. But thank you for everything.