Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Three day weekend....

Well ladies I hope you had a restful and fun Memorial Day Weekend. Our three days were the perfect mix of busy and lazy.

Saturday--We had a showing early in the morning so we got up and went to run errands. We went to Lowe's so JW could get some stuff to fix the sprinkler system. We went to Babies R Us and picked up some last minute items. We also ran to Target where I got a new skillet and few other things but did not get any food.
Then we drove over to Dallas to look at houses. We have now found 2 houses we like. We are going back on Tuesday night to see them back to back and hopefully we'll be able to make a decision about which one is going to be the new house for us.

Sunday--Sunday I did nothing. Seriously. Nothing. JW went to the Colonial golf tournament with some guy friends and I stayed home. I slept in. I piddled around the house. I watched the last 30 minutes of Legends of the Fall on cable. I took a nap. I read the internets. I finally showered about 6:30pm or so. It was a gloriously lazy day. Then JW came home and we discussed how we had literally no food at all....so we went back to Target to grocery shop. Honestly I don't mind grocery shopping but it is way better when JW comes along. We just laugh a lot. And grocery shopping at Target is great because you can get a popcorn and a coke for $1 at the little food court....and it just makes the whole experience a little brighter and more fun. Plus I like shopping with JW because we have conversations like this:

JW: What do you need this for?
Me: Oh, I'm going to make lasagne.
JW: Seriously? That's awesome.

Then of course I feel like a great wife because the idea of me making lasagne has made my husband so happy. And I know he'll be even happier once I actually make the stuff. Ahh..domesticated life.

Monday--We woke up at 9am which is pretty early for me on a day when I don't have anywhere to be. Then we kicked it into high gear and here is what we accomplished. (I use the term "we" loosely here since JW did almost everything. I was just a supervisor)
1) Weeded flower beds at the bases of the two trees in our front yard. Pulled all the weeds, planted new flowers and mulched the beds. This is actually the part where I worked the most
2) Made brunch--apple cinnamon pancakes and bacon. Mmmm.....
3) JW went and bought a computer he'd been researching that was on sale. I use my work laptop for everything....and since my last day of work is June 5th I couldn't be computerless
4) JW put together the bouncy seat
5) and the swing.
6) He made chicken for dinner (I can barely stand to look at raw chicken....it is actually like a huge step for me that I can even look at it long enough to pick out one to buy in the grocery store...pathetic I know) and I made a salad.

Now let the work week begin....

Friday, May 23, 2008

Trip to the hospital #1....

First off, can you tell the hormones must've been raging when I wrote that last post??

Anyway, last night we made our first trip to the hospital. I started feeling really uncomfortable about 3:30pm or so. It totally seemed like gas pains which I've gotten fairly regularly in the last few months. I took some Gas-X and watched my tivo'd Desperate Housewives while trying to relax. I watched the whole two hour season finale and was still hurting.
SIDE NOTE: Do any of y'all watch Housewives?? What did you think about that 5 year flash forward? Craziness. I really love that show and I'm totally going to miss it over the summer.
I tried walking around, sitting, laying down. Nothing was helping. All the pain was in my upper back though right about where my bra comes across.
I finally called the on call doctor about 7:30 because I was still really hurting but I knew I couldn't take more Gas X. He recommended some Zantac so I sent JW to the store. I took that and tried to lay down and sleep a little. I did get some rest but my back was still hurting. I took some tylenol around 10ish. I hadn't taken any earlier because I was still convinced it was gas and tylenol doesn't really help gas.
So, now it is about 10:30pm and I've been in pain for about 7 hours without much of a break....JW has been so patient throughout this whole thing. He went and got the Zantac, he rubbed my back, he brought me water, etc etc etc. But finally he just told me that I was being ridiculous and we should just go up to the hospital.
And since it had been 7 hours of back pain I agreed and we went.

We drove to the hospital, parked and walked in. It was after hours so we had to enter through the ER. I told them I didn't want a wheelchair and they allowed us to just walk through the hospital and around to L&D. This is actually a pretty far distance but as we're walking I'm noticing that I'm starting to feel better. I told JW that I didn't want to go upstairs to L&D just yet because my back was feeling better so we walked another lap around the bottom floor. We went upstairs and actually just sat in the L&D waiting area for about 15 minutes.
I finally decided that I couldn't go tell the nurses that my back hurt because it didn't hurt anymore. So we went home.
Yep. We just drove to the hospital, walked around and then came home. It was ridiculous.

Overall I'm just hoping that the next time I endure 7+ hours of pain that I actually get to meet my little baby at the end.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Our house....

I've watched the show Jon and Kate Plus 8 on a couple different occasions. I know people have lots of mixed feelings about the show but overall I like it. Sometimes Jon and Kate speak harshly to each other or to their children. However, I think the show in general is very real. I have no idea how having a child is going to change my relationship with JW....and I certainly can't imagine how trying to raise 8 kids has changed their relationship. I have a friend who once blogged about how she hates the show because she thinks Kate is negative and always gripping about stuff--specifically gripping about her husband. And although I do want to be a wife who builds my husband up I also know that I extend Kate a lot of grace. First, she's raising 8 kids--6 of them are 3. Second, Jon and Kate conceived their children through infertility treatments.

Anyway, this post isn't really about Jon and Kate except that I watched an episode lately where she was talking about the house they lived in before the sextuplets were born. She kept referring to it as "our house." She then clarified to say, "This is where we live but that house is our house."

And this is how I feel about my current house. It will always be "our house." It is the first home JW and I bought together. It was an escape from a crazy apartment complex (that's a whole other post though). We bought this 4 bedroom house just a few months after JW passed the bar exam and started practicing law. We'd been trying to have a baby for about 4 cycles at that point. This house had a room that would be a perfect nursery. There is a play fort in the backyard with a sandbox. The street is quiet and is in one of those neighborhoods where I saw us playing with our kids out front as well as in the backyard.
We have made so many memories in this house. Most of them are good and involve guests we've had come stay or parties we've hosted. Some of the best ones involve our small group from church hanging out, worshipping the Lord and praying in our living room.
This is also the house where we mourned 20 failed cycles. This is the house where I gave myself that first gonal-F shot and felt totally tough--until my ovaries blew up to the size of softballs a week later and I thought I might die. This is the house where I told JW that we were finally going to be parents and where we'll bring our baby home from the hospital.
This is OUR house.

And today we signed a contract to sell OUR house. We're moving to be closer to JW's job and to family. It really is a good thing but I'm mourning leaving our house. I just can't believe that our baby isn't going to grow up here. Our small group won't be meeting here anymore. Our baby won't play on the fort out back. That room that is ready to be "the perfect nursery" is still just white walls and plain carpet. There is a ton of baby stuff in there now but it is all just waiting to be packed and moved.

And the new house....well, we haven't found one yet. We've been looking and we just haven't found anything worth considering. Part of the problem is that real estate is more expensive in the area we're moving too....so we'll get less house for our money. But the main problem is that I really believe I already live in a perfect house....so other houses have a lot to live up to.

So, like Kate I can see myself telling someone, "This is where we live but that house is OUR house."

I know that in the end though houses aren't really that important. Home is what is important. I know that wherever we land it will be home because JW and the Peanut will be there. I want to hold the things of this world with open hands and not clenched fists. I want to focus on what is truly important but I may need a little more time to mourn this house.

Of course we have to move out by July 15th....so I'd better pack while I mourn.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

36 weeks and counting....

Here I am at 36 weeks. I haven't posted very many belly pics because honestly we haven't been very good at taking them. But I was dressed up for a party and had makeup on so I made JW take my picture.
25 days until our little miracle is due to arrive. I can't wait!!

Friday, May 09, 2008

First Freak Out moment...

Disclaimer: Chris, if you tell mom any of this I'll kill you. :)

So, Thursday morning I woke up and noticed some blood in the toilet and on the toilet paper. I freaked out because it was bright red. I had my first internal on Monday afternoon and Dr. D mentioned that I might have some spotting but if it turned into period like flow or if I was still bleeding on Wednesday to call her.

No bleeding Monday. No bleeding Tuesday. No bleeding Wednesday. Bright red blood Thursday morning.

Well, I decided that I probably needed to call and thought they'd probably want me to come in. At 35 1/2 weeks pregnant I have this fear that I'm going to go to a doctor's appointment and they are going to make me stay and have the baby so of course I had to shower and eat breakfast before I could go to the doctor. This was fine since they don't open until 8:30am and I woke up at 6:45am.

I go about my business getting ready. I'm overanalyzing every like ache, pain and twinge in my body. I keep checking for more blood. (There isn't any.) And then I start thinking about the fact that JW has two hearings that day and that I have three job interviews next week. I'm wondering how it sounds when you call to reschedule an interview because you had a baby.

As I'm eating breakfast I start to freak out about the fact that I don't really have anything packed....my mom bought me pjs for the hospital but I haven't even washed them....what if I have to describe to someone where everything is like our camera and video camera.....and my parents will come stay with us if I have the baby and I have no food in the fridge, no snacks in the pantry and no diet cokes for my mom and dad.

And of all of these stupid worries are piling up on top of the big worry about why am I bleeding and is the baby okay???

I finally got to talk to someone about 8:30am and she said that it was nothing probably just spotting from the internal. She wasn't concerned because it had stopped. Call back if it starts up again.

So, now I'm feeling dumb. 1) Because I totally was freaking out and 2) because the nurse made me feel like an idiot with her tone of voice and what not. I went to work and had to just pull the car over in a parking lot and let it all out. I just sat there and cried for a good 5 minutes or so. I'm not a big crier but it was a great way to relieve the stress of freaking out over bleeding, the frustration of feeling like an idiot thanks to the nurse and just let out all the other stress about finding a job, having a baby, moving, etc etc etc.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

I'm blessed...but also swollen....

Seriously, getting pregnant was the hard part. 35 1/2 weeks in I can say that overall this pregnancy has been pretty easy. I wasn't sick much...just a little queasy during the first trimester. I had some gall bladder issues for a few weeks but those went away. I've gained about 30 lbs total and have just recently started to get uncomfortable when trying to bend over or get out of bed. Certain things do make me start breathing heavier than before but face it growing a human being AND doing the laundry at the same time is asking A LOT. Plus the heavy breathing is a good reason to ask JW to help with stuff around the house that I would normally just take care of.

But I am swollen! Oh dear it is crazy. I have started wearing my wedding rings on a chain around my neck because I could barely get them off my finger on Sunday. And I'm not sure who the owner of the feet and ankles I'm currently sporting are but it isn't me. These feet that are currently attached to my body don't really fit into any of my shoes by around noon-ish. This means I'm wearing not so "professional dress" flip flops during the afternoon at work. I wore sneakers (yes, I call them sneakers) to work on jeans day and when I got home my feet look fine but my ankles were huge. They were beyond cankles.....it actually looked like a round ball had settled right above the shoes.

I'm currently in the process of interviewing for a new job and I'm always a little nervous that they are going to want me to come for an interview in the afternoon....what shoes will I wear???

JW and I were in the mall last week and I was browsing the shoe section. I could tell he was getting antsy so I just looked at him and said, "I don't know why I'm looking at shoes. I can't even see my feet."

I hope my ankles return to normal after the baby arrives. On a related note I hope my belly button does too since it disappeared a few weeks ago.

Now it is time to go and put my feet up on something....

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

The End is Near....

The end of this pregnancy is drawing near. We went to the doctor yesterday and as we checked out I made all of my appointments for the remaining weeks. The weirdest part was that I only made 4 appointments....and one of them is for after my due date.

The appointments are every week now and I actually get to get undressed from the waist down!! They feel like real appointments instead of just sitting there talking. I know...I'm excited about undressing at the doctor's office...I'm a freak.

So, baby is good, weight gain is good, the end is near and there is no turning back!! I can't wait to meet this little one.

Monday, May 05, 2008

It worked....

Our good friends N and T have walked beside us on this infertile journey. We have totally different circumstances--we're unexplained; he's a cancer survivor who banked sperm before treatment so IVF was their first and only option for a biological child--but it has been so wonderful to have someone in real life who understands what it is like to give yourself shots, wait for a beta and just that things aren't always easy.

Anyway, N and T found out last week that their FET was a success!!! Her first beta was over 300...and since they transferred three embryos we're now on the edge of our seats waiting to see just how many babies are in there!!
My only sadness comes from the fact that since we're moving across the metroplex we won't be seeing them every week through this pregnancy or raising our sweet babies together. I do know that the Lord brought us together as friends at just the perfect time in our lives.
Of course I'm totally trying to pressure her into starting a blog....because everyone loves a good IVF triplet pregnancy blog!!!