Monday...the beginning of a long hard week

Monday I went to see Dr. Kaufmann for an ultrasound and bloodwork. I had several follicles growing. Dr. K told me to stop my meds and come back on Wednesday to see if one or two would grow bigger and the rest would peter out.

Wednesday....

Wednesday I went to Dr. K's office for an ultrasound and found out that I had too many follicles that were too large. 8-10 follicles around 13+ mm. Dr. K had two suggestions 1) we could cancel the cycle or 2) we could aspirate some of the follicles.
We decided to aspirate which means that he would basically pop some of the follicles.

I guess my body responded too well to the medications. Dr. K aspirated the follicles which was one of the most painful things I've ever endured. That was until Friday....

Friday night....

Friday night....
Cheerleading tryouts after school. 16 super cute and great girls made the squad for next year! I'm so excited. All my girls from last year made the 8th grade squad so that was exciting too.

After tryouts I ran to the grocery store and started to feel cramping in my stomach. I came home and could barely stand up straight. I have never experienced pain like that before. I tried to go to the bathroom but it didn't relieve the pain at all. JW arrived home and was very worried about the fact that I was in so much pain and could barely stand. I threw up several times at which point I thought my appendix had ruptured and finally agree to go the ER.

We signed in at the ER around 10pm and stayed until a little after 2. The diagnosis = multiple ovarian cysts. I've never been in this much pain ever. I go to see Dr. K on Monday morning to find out more information.

Nail Shop of Horrors

We spent the weekend with my in-laws. On Saturday, JW, his dad and his brother all went fishing. My mother-in-law took me and my sister-in-law to a salon and day spa to have manicures and pedicures while she got her hair colored. The place we went to was really nice and it was fun to hang out with them since I actually really like my mother in law.

Anyway, the nail place I go to at home is run by Asian women. They usually speak to each other in their native language (Vietnamese, I think but I'm not sure) and barely speak to me at all. Well, at mother in law's nail place the woman was white and talked up a storm. I explained to her how we were all related and how sister in law and I are married to twins. We talked about my job, her job, etc. Then she started asking about kids. "Do you have kids?" "When are you going to have kids?" "How long have you been married?" "It's time to start having kids." She was so sweet but she went on and on and on and on. I was tempted to say, "It isn't as easy as they made it sound in high school but would you like to hear the details of what we've been through?" I thought about giving a nice little summary of 6 months of clomid, 2 IUIs, 5 days of injections and prepping for another IUI but I didn't want to be rude to this sweet lady.

My SIL and MIL know the whole background though and I could tell SIL was freaking out.....she later told me that she wanted to tell the lady to shut up. My sister in law's sister also dealt with infertility so she gets how hard talking about it can be.

Anyway, it just reminded me that after dealing with all this over the past 20 months I will never again ask someone when they are planning on having kids or any other prying questions...especially not in the middle of a nail salon when their feet are soaking in a whirlpool and they can't get away!

It is however the best pedicure I've ever had! My toes look great and my feet have never been so soft.

Shot success

Well, I took all my shots. It really wasn't bad. The anticipation was the worst part. The first morning I actually woke up late which was kind of good because I didn't have time to sit and over think....I only had time to stick and go.

Also, I got trained at my doctor's office on a follistim pen....but I actually wound up getting a Gonal-F pen. The set up was slightly different so I had to read and re-read the directions. The first two mornings I was seriously wondering if I was doing it right because it seemed so easy.

I had my ultrasound on Monday though and I must've been doing it right because my ovaries responded well and Dr. K gave me a lollipop for doing such a good job with my injections.

Tomorrow is the big day.....

I'm going to give myself a shot for the first time ever. I've been trained.....but who knows how it will be to actually stick myself?? I know tons of ladies have done it. I'm going to be brave and think about the baby these medicines could help us create. I can do it.

Please feel free to pray about it though because I'm totally nervous.

Who is that girl yelling in CVS??

If you happened to be in your local CVS Pharmacy last night around 6pm and you noticed a young lady crying on her cell phone and then yelling out "Well that sucks" and you wondered, "Who is that girl?" Well, let me introduce myself....my name is Amy and I'm dealing with infertility.

Yes, I am aware that I totally lost it in the middle of CVS but please let me explain. You see I was trying to fill a prescription that I had to start taking right away.....but the insurance company kept insisting that I use the mail order pharmacy. I tried to explain that the mail order pharmacy cannot get medicine from their warehouse in Boston to my house in Texas in 8 hours......but the insurance company couldn't seem to grasp this fact. So they were denying my claim. I tried to be nice at first. I promise I did. But I lost it. The stress of infertility plus the stress of work on Monday just boiled up and I exploded.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the customer service rep from said insurance agency. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I understand that you don't make the rules and that you just answer the phones for minimal pay at best. I'm sorry I told you that your company sucked and hung up on you. I was very rude. It won't happen again.

JW put everything in perspective when noting later that although it sucks I had to pay $46 out of pocket when I should've just paid $10 that if we didn't have the insurance we did we'd be paying over $2000 for this cycle (Labs, ultrasounds, medicines, procedures, etc). So, in the grand scheme of things paying $46 is way better than paying $2000.

Psalm 126:3

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy."

Okay, I have to admit that I had become a little bitter lately. I've been jealous of my friends who are pregnant and I feel surrounded by baby bellies everywhere I go. I even told JW this week that I hated Target because of all the pregnant women there. I mean, I said I hated Target!!! Target, the most wonderful place. Obviously I was a little out of my head.

Then this morning at church we had the best time of worship and fellowship. I was completely reminded of that God is sovereign. His plan for us will unfold and it is perfect. It is better than any plan we can make for ourselves. We also took time as a small group to pray for lots of things including the two women who are pregnant, the couple who has their agency interview this week for their adoption and the two of us who are trying---me with injectibles and Traci preparing for IVF. It was awesome to be surrounded by people who love us, care for us and are walking along side us on this journey to be a family.

Cycle 20 begins

Well this weekend has been both totally depressing and kind of exciting. My period started so cycle 19 is a bust. This was the depressing part....especially since my period was two days later than I thought it would be which made me so hopefully.

The exciting part is that we are moving on to injectible medications this cycle and eventually an IUI at the right time. Woohoo!! Progress in the right direction hopefully.

My job is interesting.

Yesterday I got to counsel a young girl (15) about being sexually active and pregnant. As I was explaining to her the risks that she is exposing herself to through sexually activity part of me wanted to ask, "How did you do this?" I mean, I'm 27 and married and can't figure out how to create a baby but this teenager seems to understand.

The whole situation is very sad and I don't mean to joke. In the end it turns out that she is not pregnant.....just a little starved for attention.

Cabbage Patch

So, I was visiting this other blog about infertility and the subtitle was "this would be easier if babies still came from the cabbage patch...."

I laughed so hard.